NBA Playoff Predictions

I guess this technically is a basketball blog.

Eastern Conference:

Round 1:

Bulls vs. Sixers: The Bulls were secretly hoping the Knicks would fall to the 8-seed, because the Sixers have the energy/athleticism/defense to give them problems. But Philly doesn’t play with enough consistency to win a playoff series. Especially going up against the most consistent team in the league. Bulls in 5.

Heat vs. Knicks: You gotta figure that the crowd at MSG is good for at least one win in the series. And you can probably assume that Carmelo (30 ppg in April) is good for another win. But that’s pretty much it. The Knicks’ offense is a mess when Tyson and Amare play together. And even though Carmelo has been awesome at the 4 lately, that’s because nobody has been able to match up with him down low. Unfortunately for the Knicks, LeBron might be the one guy in the world who can. Heat in 6.  

Pacers vs. Magic: As soon as Dwight went down, everyone immediately put the Magic on “Ewing Theory” alert. Not to play spoiler, but that’s usually not how “Ewing Theories” work. They usually come out of nowhere when you least expect it. The Pacers are well coached and have worked hard all season to earn that Number 3 seed. They’ll be ready to play. Pacers in 5.

Celtics vs. Hawks: Still can’t figure out why Doc threw in the towel on that Atlanta game last week, basically conceding home-court advantage to the 5^th seeded Hawks. It’s even more perplexing when you consider the struggles the Celtics have had in Atlanta in recent years. This season, Joe Johnson has been his usual clutch-self, and Josh Smith will get some All-NBA Third Team votes. But Jeff Teague has been erratic, Kirk Hinrich has underperformed, Al Horford is still injured, and the Celtics are playing their best basketball in 14 months. Celtics in 6.

Eastern Conference Semifinals:

Bulls vs. Celtics: Say what you want about the Bulls’ depth, but the Celtics still have 3 of the 4 best players in the series. That means something in basketball. If Luol Deng can outplay Pierce, which is a definite possibility, then this series swings back in favor of the Bulls. But everything that Pierce has been saying lately (talking about his place in Celtics' history, etc.) leads me to believe that he is going to bring his “A” game this entire post-season. Furthermore, with a banged-up Derrick Rose unable to get consistent playing time lately, Chicago’s offense has been somewhat out of synch. Rose is a superstar and loves having the weight of the world on his shoulders, for better or worse. But the Bulls run into problems sometimes when he tries to do too much. The book on Rose is to clog the lane and force him to make bad decisions. Doc probably knows this, too. And the Celts’ defense will be ready. Celtics in 6.

Heat vs. Pacers: If you check out the Pacers’ Wikipedia page, there’s a section labeled “2007-Present: Danny Granger Era.” That’s not a good sign. Indiana doesn’t have a player who can propel them to that next level. In this series, their only advantage is with Roy Hibbert at center. Listen, I love Hibbert. He does everything well and has great chemistry with Jean Ralphio. But unless he goes for like 35 points, I don’t see the Pacers even earning a victory in this series. Heat in 4.

Eastern Conference Finals:

Heat vs. Celtics: The Celtics are better than last year. Stiemsma is better than JO. Bass is better than Baby. And Avery Bradley has a chance to be an All-Star in this league. So on that alone, I would feel better about this series than I did about last year’s matchup. But what really gives the Celtics some hope, is their rebounding matchups against the Heat. The Celtics, as we all know, are the worst rebounding team in the league. While I consider it to be their only weakness, it is a significant weakness. The C’s have lost a handful of games this season due to their inability to grab a late board. But against the Heat, the Celtics seem to be more active on the glass. During those two early April victories against Miami, Boston grabbed more rebounds in both games. Rondo, in particular, rebounds incredibly well against the Heat. Boston’s most glaring weakness suddenly becomes neutralized (and in some games, a strength). I’m not saying I expect the Celtics to win this series. But for those of you who were disappointed by their 4-1 series loss to Miami last year, I promise you the Celtics would put up a better fight this time around. Heat in 7.  

Western Conference:

Round 1:

Spurs vs. Jazz: Gotta feel happy for Al Jefferson. He was decimal points away from averaging a 20-10, and somehow dragged this team through the mud and managed to earn that final playoff spot. Also, Gordon Hayward has quietly been averaging 16 ppg the last month or so, and has been their second best player. They’ll be lucky to win one game in this series, though. The Spurs are pretty much better at every position, from the coach right down to the last folding chair on the bench. Spurs in 4.

Thunder vs. Mavericks: Of all the teams in the NBA, I feel the most uncomfortable trying to assess Dallas. I don’t think they’ve tried at any point this season. I’m just waiting for the playoffs to start to see if they have any interest in competing at all. Ultimately, I think they’ll show some fight. But when Russell Westbrook steamrolls through the lane and dunks for 45^th time in the series, people are really gonna start to miss Tyson Chandler. Thunder in 5.

Lakers vs. Nuggets: The Lakers are weird. They have the best center in the league. The most offensively gifted power forward. The second greatest basketball player of all-time. And yet, I still have no doubt that this is going at least 6 games, and maybe 7. If you’ve watched any of The Association this season, you marvel at how the Nuggets are a true team. George Karl is an awesome coach. Lawson and Gallinari have blossomed into solid players and even better leaders. It’s just locker room full of team guys who work hard and really want to win. They’ll give it everything they got, but talent wins in basketball. Lakers in 6.

Grizzlies vs. Clippers: As high as I am on the Grizzlies, I may be even lower on the Clippers. This is not a team built for playoff basketball. Right now I’m not even convinced that Blake Griffin can be the third best player on a championship team, and he’s currently the second. Home-court advantage may have given them some hope, but that’s out of the question now. Grizzlies in 5.  

Western Conference Semifinals:

Spurs vs. Grizzlies: Last year the Spurs were the Number 1 seed and lost their first-round matchup to the Grizzlies. The shocking thing about that series? It wasn’t that shocking. Everyone walked away from that series saying the same thing: Memphis was the better team. This year, the Spurs add a healthy Ginobili and a revitalized version of Tony Parker that is 25% better than last year. The Grizzlies counter with a healthy Rudy Gay and a dedicated version of O.J. Mayo that is 125% better than last year. Call it a wash. Memphis dominated San Antonio last year. I can’t envision Popovich allowing that to happen again, but I still like boys from Tennessee. Grizzlies in 7.  

Thunder vs. Lakers: After working their asses off to get by Denver, the Lakers just won’t have enough to keep pace with the Thunder. OKC will be ready for them. Remember back in 2010 when the Thunder took Game 1 of their first-round matchup with the Lakers? Everyone was hoping they could pull off the upset, but the Lakers experience prevailed and they went on to win 4 of the next 5 games. The Thunder won’t let this opportunity slip away again. The starting lineups are basically even, but we know how important bench play can be. And that’s a major edge to OKC. Also, what’s the over/under on clutch 3-pointers Derek Fisher hits in this series? 8 ½? Thunder in 7.     

Western Conference Finals:

Thunder vs. Grizzlies: A rematch of the best playoff series from last season; a thrilling 7-game series that featured some of the most entertaining basketball I have ever seen. Memphis ended up losing that triple-overtime game, which proved to be the difference in the series. But this year I think the Grizz get their revenge.

Here are things that matter in playoff basketball: interior scoring and perimeter defense. Memphis has the advantage in both. Mike Conley and Tony Allen are elite defenders who have the ability to contain Westbrook and Harden.  And Rudy Gay is reaching the point in his career when he finally tells himself, “This is my sixth season as an NBA player. Nobody really respects my game. I’m arguably the most athletic guy in the league. I’m just gonna focus on defense and shut down Kevin Durant for the next two weeks and I don’t care about anything else.” That’s a potentially scary thought for the Thunder, especially when you consider how ineffective Ibaka and Perkins are offensively. I know everyone else is saying it, but that’s their fatal flaw: inside scoring. It’s difficult to win three consecutive playoff series when you rely on three perimeter players to score 75% of your points. Meanwhile, Memphis has two of the most talented big men in the league. Even when one has an off-night, they’re still really tough to defend. Grizzlies in 7.

NBA Finals: 

Heat vs. Grizzlies: This is the year. This is LeBron’s final chance. I’m honestly ready to say that if he doesn’t win a championship this season, he’s never gonna win one. Because it’s right there in front of him. It’s his for the taking. And if he doesn’t feel the urgency to grab it right now, I don’t think he ever will. The Bulls are gonna keep getting better. The Thunder are gonna keep getting better. There’s even been rumors that Pat Riley would break up the team if the Heat didn’t win this year. It’s now or never.   

As for a matchup with Memphis, I would still worry about the Grizzlies suffering from an inferiority complex. Like, I think they would question if they really belonged in the NBA Finals playing against LeBron James and the Miami Heat. That’s why I’m hoping the Thunder pull it out. Because you know Durant would just take the ball and drop 40 every night. No doubt in my mind, you put Durant on the world’s biggest stage and he would embrace it. Just shine in the spotlight like Kobe, Shaq or Jordan would have.

But I’m not gonna hedge my pick. I’ll stick with Memphis. In my opinion, it would be one of the most entertaining NBA Finals ever. I mean think about the athleticism on the court. Think about the matchups. LeBron and Gay. Wade and TA. Skilled big men. Dependable point guards. Shaky coaches who are probably in over their heads. Not to mention you would have all of America desperately pulling for Memphis in the ultimate underdog series. Man, I should really stop getting so excited about this, since it definitely won’t end up happening. Anyway, Heat in 6.   

Is walking across America a power move, or just crazy?

It's crazy, right? Has to be. Like, nobody with half a brain does this. Pushing a baby stroller around with all your shit in it? Walking alongside the highway in the Arizona desert? It's certifiable. 

But I guess that's what happens when you graduate from Arts & Crafts Sciences. No life skills. No sense of responsibility. Just no direction at all. You spend your entire college career talking about your feelings, and the next thing you know you're just wandering aimlessly through life. Literally. My friend Ebram here flew to Los Angeles and just decided to walk home. Like, who does that? 

Ok, now in fairness to Ebram, he is a pretty decent guy. Complete nutjob. But still a solid person and arguably one of the Top 5 Egyptians in our graduating class. But listen man, just because we were friends in college doesn't mean you can call me up whenever you want. It's like every three days he's got a million more questions. How are the Celtics doing? What's KONY? Whitney Houston died? Who's Carly Rae Jepsen? You hooking up with anybody? Like, enough already.

You want to walk across the country, be my guest. But it's not my job to fill you in on everything you're missing. It's not my fault you couldn't turn 10:02 into a full-time job. That's on you. Besides, you know I'm not hooking up with anybody, so why do you even bother asking? 

P.S. You can follow Ebram at Heybram.com and on his Facebook page. 

Is Grantland sneaky a hipster website?

Chuck Klosterman

Charlie Pierce

Jay Caspian Kang

Listen, I love Bill Simmons. Probably the most influential sports writer of all-time. But Grantland is starting to become insufferable. I mean look at these bros. These are supposed to be your top three writers? I know you’re trying to be different and everything, but you’re still ESPN dude. How hard could it be to find some regular guys who can write well?

Like, my main issue is that everything turns into some over-indulgent interpretation of society. Kentucky wins the National Championship? Our values are in the toilet. LeBron passes up a game-winning shot? America should stop policing the world. I mean, it's always something with these guys. Even when they do stay on topic, there's still this condescending tone to the whole thing. It's obnoxious.

Sorry I'm getting so worked up about this. It just makes me angry when Grantland gets like 1 million unique visitors every month, and Albermarle All-Stars is still stuck at like 1,000. But hey, I guess that's the world we live in. If you want hipsters to teach you about sports, you go to Grantland. And if you want awesome videos and funny articles, you go to Albermarle All-Stars. Plain and simple.    

P.S. Speaking of hipsters, what’s up with Calvin these days? Foster the People? Real Estate? We’ve come a long way since the days when he only listened to socially conscious hip-hop. Like, what’s your end game here? Trying to differentiate yourself now that everyone says "Mike is the new Calvin?" Basically just pulling a 180 and telling the world "Calvin is the new Mike?" I gotta say, I didn't see that one coming. Well played, Calvin. Well played. 

    

Finally Found a Theme Song

About time Albermarle All-Stars had a theme song. I mean, the NBA on NBC has to be it, right? Just something about it that gets the juices flowing. Makes me wanna form layup lines and start high-stepping all around the court. By far the best theme song ever. Like nothing comes close. But anyway, for my top five, I'd go:

1. NBA on NBC



2. NHL on ESPN



3. March Madness on CBS



4. NFL on NBC



5. World Series on Fox

Lineups announced for All-Star Weekend

Major Announcement

Never Again

First of all, let me set the record straight about why I run the marathon. Because my friend Nick has been killing me lately, calling me out being like, “Obviously you do it for the attention, that’s why everyone does it. Otherwise, why wouldn’t you just go out and run 26.2 miles on a random Wednesday in September?” Listen, I’m not gonna try to deny that. That’s 100% true. I still refuse to buy the jacket and wear it for the next two months, because that’s just a whole other level of self-absorption. But yeah, pretty much the only reason I run marathons is the slight chance that when I run by BC, some girl from my Auditing & Standards class will turn to her friend and be like, “Oh he’s kinda cute. I think he’s in one of my classes.” Like, plain and simple, that’s basically it.

As for this year, I realize that I technically don’t go to BC anymore. But I spend enough time there and still generally consider myself enough of a “face on campus” to justify running in a maroon & gold shirt. Besides, being an alumni is the new being a senior.   

Unfortunately, when you have legs like Maurice Jones-Drew, it’s kinda hard to run 26 miles without cramping up. And for the female readers out there who don’t know who MJD is, he’s a football player with really big fucking legs. Like, imagine taking Brenny’s legs and sticking them on Calvin’s body. That’s essentially what you’re dealing with here. There’s literally no amount of Gatorade, Gu and Jelly Beans in the world that can keep those babies hydrated for 26 miles.

So naturally, on a 90 degree day, my legs start cramping up around Mile 10. That’s not good. You expect there to be some cramping. But you expect that to happen somewhere around Mile 22, and then you just suck it up and fight your way to the finish line. But when you’re forced to start walking around Mile 11, then you’re basically fucked.

For about 10 minutes, I seriously considered quitting. Like, I knew I had no chance to finish in a reasonable time. I had already done this twice and had nothing to prove. I was already in a tremendous amount of pain and knew it would only get worse. I had completely lost the motivation to live-Tweet. And I was fully aware that the next three hours would probably be the most difficult thing I had ever done in my life.

But then I thought to myself, you know who would quit right now? Like, you know who would absolutely give up on this situation? LeBron. Like, there’s no chance LeBron would finish this right now. He would just drop out around Mile 15, blame the rest of the world for his failure, and then get demolished by Skip Bayless on ESPN the next morning. That thought literally came into my head as I was running through Natick. So I was like, “Screw it. So what if I finish only four minutes ahead of Ray Allen’s mom? So what if there’s a chance Libby might beat me, in which case I would never hear the end of it? So what?” And I kept on trucking.

I got a huge emotional lift when I ran by Wellesley College. For those of you that don’t know, there's this tradition of kissing the Wellesley girls as you run by. They stand there with signs begging guys to come over and give them a kiss on the cheek. Basically it’s a way for them to be able to go home and tell all their friends they “hooked up” at college. The past two years I ran, I didn’t kiss anyone. But when you don’t have a girlfriend and live at home with your parents, you need to take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way. So I found the most American looking Asian-American I could and gave her a big wet one. Probably made her life, and I didn’t hate it, either. Actually looking back, I probably should have kissed a second girl. As a general life barometer, anytime you can kiss two girls by April, you know it’s gonna be a good year.

The next five miles sucked as much I thought they would. I walked up Heartbreak Hill, trying to save my energy so I could impress people when I ran by BC and Cleveland Circle. In my mind, I thought I pulled it together relatively well. But it’s never a good sign when a Jesuit sees you run by and immediately posts on your Facebook wall, “Mike, just saw you run by. Hope you make it to the end.”

Turns out I did make it. And I couldn’t have done it without Trubow running alongside me for a solid half-mile. At one point, Zack graciously offered to run up ahead and grab some Gatorade for me. As a normal person, I probably would have just grabbed a cup from the hundreds of people standing on the side of the road passing them out. Not Zack though. Zack decided to run into the grocery store and purchase me an entire bottle. Shockingly, I didn’t see him again. But I still sucked it up and finished. Never again, though. And next January when I start getting the itch, someone please hold me to that.