It's crazy, right? Has to be. Like, nobody with half a brain does this. Pushing a baby stroller around with all your shit in it? Walking alongside the highway in the Arizona desert? It's certifiable.
But I guess that's what happens when you graduate from Arts & Crafts Sciences. No life skills. No sense of responsibility. Just no direction at all. You spend your entire college career talking about your feelings, and the next thing you know you're just wandering aimlessly through life. Literally. My friend Ebram here flew to Los Angeles and just decided to walk home. Like, who does that?
Ok, now in fairness to Ebram, he is a pretty decent guy. Complete nutjob. But still a solid person and arguably one of the Top 5 Egyptians in our graduating class. But listen man, just because we were friends in college doesn't mean you can call me up whenever you want. It's like every three days he's got a million more questions. How are the Celtics doing? What's KONY? Whitney Houston died? Who's Carly Rae Jepsen? You hooking up with anybody? Like, enough already.
You want to walk across the country, be my guest. But it's not my job to fill you in on everything you're missing. It's not my fault you couldn't turn 10:02 into a full-time job. That's on you. Besides, you know I'm not hooking up with anybody, so why do you even bother asking?
P.S. You can follow Ebram at Heybram.com and on his Facebook page.
