Selig considering playoff expansion

Mariners | Selig considering playoff expansion | Seattle Times Newspaper

Well what a surprise! I write on Thursday how baseball needs to expand it's playoffs. I tell everybody that Bud Selig is a big fan of the Blog and that he'll definitely read this. And what do you know, not a day later he's already out talking to the press about adding more teams to the postseason. Honestly, Bud, at least give me a shout-out or something.

Where Amazing Happens

Joey Chestnut Is At Eagle's Deli Right Now Trying To Eat The Challenge Burger!

More updates to come, obviously.

***Update: He destroyed it.

Who Did What?

Jose Bautista hit his 50th home run last night? Who knew? I mean, does anybody really watch baseball anymore? To be completely honest, if you asked me who the MLB HR leader was I probably would have said Albert Pujols with like 38.

Over the summer, Bill Simmons wrote a column about how baseball games are too long. He thinks people simply don't have the attention span to watch such a slow game for 3.5 hours. This created a 3-day discussion on all the ESPN shows about how to fix baseball. Shorten the commercial breaks. Enforce a time limit between pitches. Invest more money into marketing the league's best players. Implement a salary cap to increase competitive balance.

These are all decent ideas. But at the same time, isn't the answer really obvious? Just expand the playoffs to 8 teams per league. And I don't say that just because the Red Sox are out this year. Think about it. Right now there are 9 teams in all of baseball that have any significant games left to play this season. The 4 American League playoff teams are set, and there are 5 in the N.L going for 4 spots. If 16 teams in total made the playoffs, then you probably would have about 22 teams still fighting for their lives right now. Wouldn't that make baseball so much more relevant?

How does Bud Selig not see this? Why do the NBA/NHL playoffs have so much fan interest throughout the country? Because most fan bases have a team involved and therefore get really excited about the playoffs. And even if their team gets bounced, they're already into it and so they continue to watch. I probably won't watch one playoff baseball game this year.

My proposal isn't that hard to implement. Logistically, the first series would be a 5-game series, and then you would have to reduce the number of days off throughout the postseason so that we're not still playing ball into December. But other than that, it's basically the perfect solution.

Unfortunately I'm just sitting on my bed right now and not being the commissioner of baseball. But I know Bud Selig is a fan of the Blog, so he'll definitely get this.

Should Miles Austin Be Worried About His Career?

Every now and then, a professor or somebody will pose the question to me, “If you could have dinner with one person in the world, who would it be?” My list over the years has included Michael Jordan, Keira Knightley, Pedro Martinez, Hermione Granger, Steven Gerrard and Randy Moss. But now I’m officially changing it to Kim Kardashian. I think she’s fascinating. I think she’s so misunderstood and I want to know why. I want to pick her brain, because even though she continues to reign as one of the most beautiful women in the world, I know there’s something deep-down that’s really bothering her. Seriously, the woman needs a therapy session like Nicole Richie needs two pounds.

So was I expecting her to break it off with Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin like she did the other day? Let’s just put it this way, does Charlie Daniels play a mean fiddle? I mean, c’mon Kim, you’re really gonna say the reason for the split is because of your “busy schedules?” I’ve been watching your every move on “Keeping up with” and “Miami” for the past 3 years. You have plenty of down time. You could have made it work.

But let’s get to what’s really important here: The Kim Kardashian Ex-Boyfriend Curse. Forget the SI Cover Curse or the Madden Curse. Take a look at her recent boyfriends:

Cristiano Ronaldo: Had a below-average World Cup when everyone was expecting huge things from him.

Reggie Bush: Recently became the first person to ever give back the Heisman trophy.

Ray J: Did you SEE “For the Love of Ray J?” I couldn’t even watch past the first season.

Nick Lachey: Never able to recover from his split with Jessica and now is at C-list celebrity status.

Nick Cannon: Not gonna lie, I love Nick Cannon. When he starts drumming on Morris Brown’s first line drums and then A&T throws their sticks right in their faces. So badass. You don’t do that and get away with it in the marching band world, and that’s exactly what he did. That’s whassup. Not to mention he’s such a believable soccer player in “Goal II.”

Ball don’t lie, Miles. Ball. Don’t. Lie.

Get to Eagles Nest Stat!

Eagles Nest Piano Guy is absolutely killing it right now. His version of Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby" made me slightly more emotional than I was planning when I came to get my Tuscon Chicken. Girls are just melting for him as we speak. Honestly I need to learn how to play an instrument ASAP. Talk about adding 2 points to your scale just like that.

Listen Up, Girls

Today’s a Wednesday, which means at least three girls will come up to me and say, “Mike, what can I do to become more attractive in your eyes? How can I get to your level?” Loaded question, I know. Like how do I even begin to answer this? Girls want to know how to relate with someone that transcends coolness. I’m no English major (thank God), but I think that’s literally impossible. Listen, it’s not my fault that wherever I go people are always asking me where I got my jeans, what I think of the latest Kanye song, or how many pick-6’s I plan on getting in our first game Sunday night. I just am who I am. But as fans of the Alb, I figure these girls deserve some sort of answer. So here it is:

Remember when we were applying to colleges and girls would be like, “What the hell is Marquette?” and we’d be like, “Are you kidding? Dwayne Wade. Marquette basketball. It’s in Wisconsin, they have a really good team.” And they would just stare at us all confused as they were secretly trying to remember if Wisconsin was the one shaped like a glove. Then they would say something to the extent of, “I don’t understand how you boys know all these players in all these sports. Like, how do you remember them all?”

Ahh, the age-old question. How do us boys remember all the players, all the stats, all the years that shit happened, etc.? Football, baseball, basketball, hockey, soccer. Professional and college. How do we do it? Ultimately it really boils down to one thing: it’s the only thing we really really care about. Yeah, there is a bunch of other stuff in the world that makes us think, makes us cry, blah, blah, blah. But at the end of the day, sports are the only thing that we could consume ourselves with 24/7 and still be legitimately happy.

So in my round-about way of answering these girls’ question, you need to choose one team/sport and become a true expert on it. Just pick something. Anything. Pick a team. Pick a league. And follow it. Most girls who have already figured this out have chosen basketball. Only five players on the court at once. Their names always show up when they’re shooting free throws. It’s really pretty easy to learn. Plus the games are entertaining and all guys love the NBA. If you go out to a bar with your guy friends and are able to say things like, “I hate Joakim Noah so much, but he’s probably the best rebounder in the league,” then your stock will just sky-rocket.

You think I’m kidding when I say this, but I’m not. You can actually go up like 2 whole points just by becoming “the cool girl who knows what she’s talking about.” And yes, I mean if you are initially a 6 you can become an 8. No joke. And don’t get carried away and think you can follow more than one team and add all these points up. If you’re a 4, you’re not going up to a 10 just because you become an expert on the Red Sox, Patriots and Celtics. Doesn’t work like that. Plus, you don’t want to over-do it. That's not attractive either.

So there it is. Pretty straight-forward in my opinion. Now hit the books!

A "Growing" Concern

Ok this shit is getting ridiculous. I’m starting to become legitimately worried that I have Paul Pierce-syndrome, meaning I can only grow facial hair 2/3 of the way down my cheek. Seriously, I haven’t made any progress in like 4 years. My dad’s got the thick mustache going, so I figured I was golden. But apparently not. Sure, it grows back pretty quickly and everything, but I just can’t close the gap between my chin and my cheeks. It’s frustrating as hell. I honestly want nothing more in life than to be able to grow a nice manly beard and not have to worry about shaving every 3 days.

But if you thought I was going to just take this laying down, then you are wrong my friend. Not on my watch. That’s not how the Salvuchasaurus does things. So yesterday, I decided it was time for a change. I figured maybe it was my electric Remington that was stunting my growth. So after class, I took the bus to CVS and bought myself my first disposable razor and some Gillette Shave Gel. And I’m proud to say that I only have three cuts on my face right now. And hot damn! What a close shave it is! I’m convinced that this is going to work. I’ll keep you updated. Or maybe you can just judge for yourself.

Here We Go Again

Decisions, decisions. We make them all the time, and many of them are pretty easy. Should Tom fly home for the Notre Dame game next week? Of course. Should Jon clean up that mess on his wall? Definitely. Am I considering hiring Teo as the official promoter of Albermarle All-Stars? You betcha. But then there are other decisions in life that aren’t so simple, such as should Carmelo and CP3 go to the Knicks or the Nets.

Here's my advice: GO TO THE NETS! Amare sucks and has two bum knees and only one eye. And he complains all the time. He's just not a gamer. I've had a broken thumb for like 6 months now, surprise! But you didn't know that because I never let people know when I get hurt. Plus the Knicks are just incompetent. Brook Lopez is the real deal, and honestly the Nets would be so well balanced I actually think they might be better than Miami.

I really think Carmelo gets traded before the season starts. Denver has basically said they’re willing to trade Melo after he recently rejected a 3-year, $65 million extension. The Nets would have to trade Derrick Favors and probably Devin Harris for Carmelo, and then Paul would join after 2012 at the very latest.

Obviously the Knicks will fight hard for Anthony and Paul, and the fact that they have Amare locked up for 5 years is huge (at least to them). But with Denver shopping Carmelo right now, I don’t see a package that the Knicks could put together right now that would top other teams’ offers. Even the Trail Blazers are considering entering the Melo Sweepstakes, and we all know the abundance of young talent they have.

Either way, just another story to add to The Most Anticipated NBA Season of All Time.

Reader Doesn't Like One of My Posts

What's that Nick? You were a little..."disappointed" with my Flag Football Preview? You were expecting bigger and better things? Listen pal, I'm running the show around here. I know how to write a blog, that's why I got ESPN breathing down my neck like every day trying to sign me. Just because you have dedicated your life to trying to look like Tim Lincecum, it doesn't make you a fucking expert on everything.

I swear, I'm about to kick you off of your own team. Don't think for a second that I can't cover two wide receivers at once, because I can. Have fun watching the Giants get spanked tonight.

Cudder Kills It at BC

I was on a retreat so I didn't get to go, but I heard the Cudi concert was unbelievable! The $25 that people spent and the 5 hours in line that everybody waited was so worth it! I mean, there were no technical problems at all, the sound quality was spectacular, and the crowd was bumpin'. Really upset that I missed out.

Season Over

Honestly the worst thing about today's loss is that the season is over. Our defense is fucking terrible. Brady just had a bad game, not the end of the world. But we're not winning the Super Bowl this year with Darius Butler playing in our secondary. It's just embarrassing how Belichick can't find a player that can cover a wide receiver in this league. It's been like 8 years since Ty Law, Bill. Get with the program. So I'm done. Done. Done. Done.

And I'm sorry that I'm not some mindless cheerleader that sits down every Sunday, puts on his jersey and cheers for his team. When you have the best offense in the NFL and lose to the Jets then you don't deserve to have fans. I stopped watching the Patriots last season in Week 9 or something after the loss to the Saints. I just knew we weren't a Super Bowl team, so why bother? Unfortunately, I am now making this realization in Week 2.

The one positive that comes out of this is that my GPA will be at least .3 points higher than it would have been otherwise. A friend suggested today that all guys should have their grades inflated during first semester because they aren't able to do work on Sundays. Think about it. Girls do like 10 hours of work every Sunday. They wake up, have breakfast, get coffee, and go sit with their friends all day long and do work. Guys don't have that opportunity. They have to watch three games spanning like 12 hours. And then they end up either being too pissed off to do any work (like I clearly am now), or they're so excited about their team's win and just want to drink. But now I guess I need to find some lady-friends to spend my Sunday afternoons with.

Off to Another Retreat - Enjoy the Weekend!

Saw this commercial yesterday. Awesome. Ray's mom is old news. I'm all about Mama Rondo now. Somebody get me a hold of that woman!

P.S. Can't eat Sushi in Utah. Landlocked.

It's Official: Newton North Students Wish They Had Their Old School Back

My sources are telling me that nobody likes the new school. Just feels like you're going to the hospital everyday. I have to admit, this is hilarious. 200 dunkaroos and the kids just want the pile of bricks on the ground outside. I mean, I'm not really surprised. North was sick. Nothing like walking down Main Street, sterotyping the shit out of your entire student body, and going off to class. I know what people are saying, just give it time. After a few years the new school will develop its own character. Sorry, I just don't see it happening.

Flag Football Season Preview

After a surprising playoff run last year, the Schmegs return all but one starter in 2010 and will be considered one of the favorites in the NCAA Division. Unfortunately, Pete tore his ACL, which means we needed a new QB. Coach Nick entrusted me with finding his replacement because he knew I just had an eye for this type of thing. Talent recognizes other talent, that’s just how it works. So after hours and hours of scouting, I finally came up with the perfect guy to take the reins of our offense: Quinn. Kinda an Atlanta Falcons parallel here. Pete, our speedy, high-risk/high-reward, socially irresponsible quarterback cannot return (Mike Vick). So Dave, the polished, savvy Boston College product steps in to take his place (Matt Ryan).

Offense:

After a few sessions of training camp, the offense is starting to shape up quiet nicely. Quinn didn’t know this at the time, but he was essentially trying out for the QB position. He passed with flying colors and we’re all really excited about the direction of this team. One thing that does scare me is that he has a tendency to be a little soft. When we play basketball, he sometimes lacks the tenacity that his teammates expect of him. Reminds me of a young Drew Bledsoe in that way. Hopefully the Mods have toughened him up a little bit.

The real game changer is that we have now implemented a new system for calling plays. It basically allows us to go no-huddle all game long. I can’t really reveal exactly what the plays are, because all of Boston College reads the blog and I’m not trying to blow up our spot here. But if you’re wondering if all the teams take it this seriously, well… no they don’t.

The undeniable strength of this team is in the trenches. Brian, Will and the new guy, Nicol, are absolute beasts that I wouldn’t even want to bump into in the dining hall, let alone on the gridiron. By the way, at BC we play full-contact football at the line of scrimmage. None of this “offensive linemen aren’t allowed to touch the D-line, all they can do is stand in the way” pansy stuff like they have at Wake and other schools.

The receiving core is solid, pretty much designed for flag football and nothing else. Literally, nothing else. I have no idea how we actually manage to win games. Every single one of us is under 5’9”. It just doesn’t make sense. It’s like when an ugly girl wears red shoes and instantly becomes hot. It’s pretty much unexplainable. Same concept here. Put us on a flag football field and instantly we’re all just the sexiest motherfuckers around. Mike aka “The Diva” and Nick aka “The Nickster” are both undersized, shifty receivers that naturally belong in the slot or playing the Reggie Bush position. Josh “Wheels Dozer” and Steve Bezerkowitz are that deep threat receiver, but also have the size to play at tight end. That type of flexibility could be a read advantage for us, especially with the strength of our other linemen. And if we let J-Rod play offense, maybe he can make some plays, too. Our biggest weakness is a lack of a tall, stud wide receiver that can score in the red zone. But we’ll figure it out. We always do.

Defense:

There really are no holes on defense. Mike aka “Salvucci Island” is back for his second season. After a monster rookie campaign (including one game in which he had three pick-6’s), he has his sights set on the Defensive Player of the Year Award. This blogger has him ranked as the No. 1 cornerback in the NCAA division, and that still might be understating his value to his team. The Nickster will likely be shifted from safety to the other cornerback position. Playing cornerback is really about quickness, and that plays to his strengths. I guess that makes him the Antonio Rogers-Cromartie to my Revis, and we should expect him to father at least two kids during the season.

Then we have Quinn and J-Rod tag-teaming the safety position. Two tall, average-looking men that each bring a different element to the game. Jon has the speed and agility to cover from sideline to sideline. Although the last time Jon saw any action, he false-started 5 times in like 3 minutes. Basically the easiest way to get into Coach Nick’s doghouse. But when he fucks up, we got Quinn with the ability to make timely interceptions.

The linebacker position also boasts depth, with Wheels Dozer and Bezerkowitz holding down the fort. Both are built like true linebackers. Just rock sturdy frames with great lateral mobility. Exactly what you’re looking for in your LB’s.

And once again, the defensive line is nothing but class. First class all the way.

Prediction: There might be some stumbling points early on, but this is probably the most experienced team in the league and they should be able to put it all together in time for the playoffs. Anything less than an appearance in the Super Bowl would be a disappointment.