Well I couldn’t have played any worse than I did today. At best I went 3-30 from the field. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought I was Ray Allen in Game 7. Brick city. Turnover city. Take your pick, I was visiting all of those cities. It’s been on my mind all night. I know I should have bigger fish to fry, but let’s be serious. I don’t. I’ve probably gone something like 3-30 with the females in the past few months, but that doesn’t really bother me all that much. Girls come and go. Albermarle pick-up is forever. So with that being said, I figured this would be as good a time as any to leap back into my virtual life as an up-and-coming NBA superstar.
Side-note from today’s game: I have been thinking a lot about the MVP Award for the Albies. Quinn made a huge case for himself today. When he plays like that he is most dominant player we have. But he’ll be the first one to tell you that there’s been an inconsistency issue all summer long. Hopefully he can turn in another performance like that so I don’t have to give it to Mitch or Joey.
Double side-note: It’s no secret that Jesse and I have a little bit of a rivalry going on. It’s all in good fun, but it’s there and we both know it. And it pains me to say that I came to the conclusion today that he’s a better basketball player than me. There was nothing he couldn’t do today. He hit everything, played good defense, passed the ball well. And every time I touched the ball I either got stripped in the lane or threw up an ill-advised off-balance layup. I don’t go to the RecPlex and work on my game for this shit! Jesse, you know I think you’re a great player. I’m just saying it hurts me a little on my insides to get beat by someone who refers to UVM as “university.” As in, “Usually when I’m at university I like to play Frisbee on the quad in my Birkenstocks.” It’s called college. Or school. Or UVM. At least give me an article or a possessive adjective or something. And don’t tell me that’s what everyone calls it in Europe. We’re in America. If I wanted to wear skinny jeans and smoke cigarettes I would have transferred to NYU a long time ago.
Back to the league:
The 2011 NBA Playoffs have finally arrived. Here are the final standings, including the Albermarle All-Stars on those teams.
Eastern Conference:
1. Miami Heat (Jamie)
2. Boston Celtics (Tom)
3. Chicago Bulls
4. Orlando Magic
5. Atlanta Hawks (Hyatt)
6. Milwaukee Bucks
7. New York Knicks (Brenny)
8. Cleveland Cavaliers
Well the first thing that jumps out at me here is that Lebron plays Cleveland in the first round. Obviously we would all like to see this matchup, but I honestly think there is a legitimate chance of this happening. The East is so top heavy and there are really only 5 competitive teams. The Cavs will only need to beat out Charlotte or maybe Philadelphia for that number 8 spot. I just think the Cavs are going to play out of their minds all season and reach the playoffs. Heat win in 5 but it will still be a great series to watch.
Conference finals: Heat vs. Celtics. I think the Celtics are going to Finals again. I really do. The Celtics just know how to get it done in a 7 game series. Lebron has never beaten the C’s and there’s no way Bosh and Big Z are handling Garnett, Shaq, Jermaine, Perkins, Baby in the front court. Not to mention they have nobody to guard Rondo without screwing up all the other matchups. Plus you know T-Bird is going to win at least one game for the Green. Probably at home in heroic fashion, too. Jamie does his best to average 11 points for the series, but it’s not going to be enough.
Western Conference
1. LA Lakers (Calvin)
2. Dallas Mavericks
3. Oklahoma City Thunder
4. Denver Nuggets
5. Portland Trail Blazers (Mike)
6. Utah Jazz
7. San Antonio Spurs (Dave Robb)
8. Sacramento Kings (Mitch)
I think it’s silly at this point to consider the Thunder a “team on the rise.” They are 100% the second or third best team in the West. I still really like the Mavs and I think Caron Butler has a huge season for them this year. But Durant is the second best player on a relevant team in the entire conference (sorry CP3), and everyone else seems to be getting worse (Suns, Spurs, Jazz). Sacramento is the surprise team in the West this year, and not simply because they’ve added Mitch. Tyreke is good enough to get a team to the playoffs, even if they do inevitably get bounced by L.A.
Conference Finals: Lakers vs. Thunder. A rematch of last season’s intriguing first round matchup. Again, the Lakers prevail but this should be a great series. Calvin actually starts for the Lake Show, but unfortunately gets subbed out for Fisher in late game situations. Overall, just not enough size for the Thunder, although rookie Cole Aldrich will have a very solid season for OKC.
NBA Finals: Celtics vs. Lakers. The reason I love the NBA so much is that the best teams always wins. There is never any second guessing, really. I realize last year’s Finals was decided in the last 4 minutes and that either team could have won. But is anyone really going to argue that the Lakers weren’t the best team in basketball last year? The reason I like the Lakers to win again is not because of Kobe, but Paul Gasol. I hate Gasol just as much as the next guy. I watch soccer pretty regularly and he’s really on another level in terms of flopping. But he secretly was the MVP of the Finals last year and nobody even knew it. When you have the two best players on the court you are usually going to win.
NOTE: I know I’m getting ahead of myself here because the 2011 season is still a few months away. I’m going to make it up to everyone by giving a preview of every NBA team in the 30 days leading up to the season. You’re welcome.
Following the NBA Finals, Zack Trubow was selected 19th overall by the Utah Jazz. Besides Rondo of course, Deron Williams is my favorite player in the league. Zack, could you ask him why he rocks the 4-year old hair cut? When I bought my Rondo jersey, the deciding factor was the haircut. Rajon is always lined up. As is Jimmy Dyer. Deron looks like a fool sometimes.
****This concludes the 2011 NBA Season for the Albermarle All-Stars. I don’t know how much staying power this blog will have if I repeatedly keep creating fictitious scenarios in which we are all NBA players. Don’t be worried though, I’ll figure it out.
