Here’s what we learned at 2 Luries 1 Keg last night:
1. Everyone obviously reads my blog. And I don’t say this just because people kept asking me how I ascended to the top of the blogosphere so quickly. The reason I’m saying this is because there were a ton of girls there last night. Two days ago I made a comment about how we only hang out with 3.5 girls, and how I thought it would be a good idea for all the guys to bring a date to Mitch’s. Well ask and you shall receive, because it was ladies’ night for sure. Like, I’m dead serious when I say the last time I was in a room with so many girls was over a month ago when I did yoga at the BC gym.
2. Girls will believe anything you tell them.
Girl: Mike! Mike! So who are these 3.5 girls you’re talking about? Who is the .5 of a girl? Am I the .5? Is she the .5? Who are the 3? Who Mike? WHO???
Me: Uhhhh, no, of course you’re not the .5. You’re definitely one of the 3. C’mon, you really think I’d do that to you?
Girl: Ok good. Just wanted to be sure of that. Do you want to go upstairs and make out or something?
I lost track of how many times I had this exact same conversation last night. Probably close to double-digits though.
3. If someone sticks a gun to my head and says I have to go win a Beer Olympics with only two Lurie men on my team, Mitch shouldn’t even bother getting out of bed. Seriously Mitch, have a drink or something. Every time I turn around I see your brother doing a keg stand or your dad flipping cups. Feel free to get involved buddy.
4. I almost feel bad for writing this because I love Brenny and I think he is the man, but Brooke is definitely leaving him for me. Probably within the next few weeks, too. For some reason we had never officially officially met until last night, which is weird considering she knows all of our other friends. But now it makes sense why Brenny shielded her from me for so long. Brooke just couldn’t get enough of me. Eating up all my jokes. Sitting next to me in the car. Constantly asking about my blog. I tried to refuse when she offered me her drink at the bar, but the woman knows what she wants. So, Brenny, consider this my apology in advance. And Brooke, I’ll be waiting for you to accept my friend request.
