If there’s one thing I hate in this world, it’s when people quote Bill Simmons verbatim and try to pass it off as their own idea. Not because I feel the need to defend Bill Simmons (even though I listen to his podcast every night before I go to sleep), but rather because it outright proves you know nothing about sports. You’ll just be sitting around watching T.V. and some moron will say something like “The ZombieSonics are set for the next 10 years. Durant is the ultimate alpha dog.” How do you respond to that? It’s literally the most obnoxious thing ever, and unfortunately it happens all the time. The first few times it happened I just nodded along and didn’t make a big deal of it, even though I could tell this person really didn’t know anything about sports. Kinda like how we all react when Jesse starts rambling on about environmental economics. Like in our head we give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s our friend and we really don’t know what the fuck goes on in
Anyway, now I’ve started calling people out on it. “Really? David Stern asked MJ to take a hiatus due to his gambling problem? And you know this, how? You were 4 years old when that happened. Get the fuck out of my house.” Ah yes, the Michael Jordan gambling conspiracy, the most common form of Bill Simmons plagiarism. That David Stern asked Michael to go away for a few years so he wouldn’t be forced to suspend him. Hello! Can we think about how ridiculous this sounds! Suspend the greatest player ever because he gambles a lot? I mean, I guess it’s not the most admirable of traits to have, but gambling is essentially legal. Granted, the MJ retirement is a bit fishy, and I don’t really know what went down. But there’s really no evidence of this happening.
So considering all this, do you really expect me to believe that Zack Trubow is leaving Wentworth due to an unsettled gambling debt with Coach Raj? I know I blogged earlier that some reports were leaking this story, but I’m calling shenanigans. I’m willing to bet on it (no pun intended but totally intended, thanks Pres). Zack’s taking his talents to Roma because supposedly Raj won’t play him until he hands over the cash money? No, no, no siree. This is the reverse MJ conspiracy, and Melanie Hill is 100% involved. Zack is the star basketball player living on campus. Mel is done with college and living on her own. All the girls want Zack. Blah, blah, blah, you know how it goes. It’s Jamie and Turtle all over again. Mel realizes if Zack goes to
